I am your heart
and for years I have been wanting to speak to you
sometimes you don’t hear very well
other times you are so zoomed in
that my words are just booming sounds
if you take three steps back
and breathe in and out
you may hear my voice
which resounds in the rhythm of all
it is the threshold and miracle of creation
the ebb and flow of water and shore
wherein lies love and devotion
it is the hidden source of warmth
which sediments into friendship and memory…
the connection between flour and water
which allows us to bake and build
it is the smile of a child and the feeling that ensues
from which you know
that I am here and so are you
Life comes in spurts
and love in waves
my heart has twelve chambers
that open in a spiral
the doors connect to my mind
and to the solar plexus
among other things
the sedimentary of old grabs
hold of the inner folds
and exudes from my pores
fears winged and wild
fly into my dreams
my psyche feels burdened and clasped
in the wire bindings of a cage
the one I love feels distant
and yet it is I who am faraway
casting myself into a pit
escalating into the lower portion of myself
breath a long forgotten treasure
are the pebbles in the stream marked by time
is it sharp or soft
wet or dry
watery or grainy
swallow: perhaps my mind is the disc of the moon
the vitamin in the pantry, the reflection in the mirror
the hole where the lost key used to sit
smoke rings float with a bouncy swirl
into the night velvet black
plush blindness of sensing skin
maybe I forgot my lines
maybe my dreams are my fears
maybe you are my savior
I am the flowery city with its spanning urban neighborhoods.
I am the narrow and winding road beneath the starlit night.
I am the rolling dry hills growing with sagebrush against my side.
I am the desert lakebed toward which we drive.
My terrain is dusty and ancient and white.
I lie under the bluest of skies.
I am the daylight hours.
I am the bulging red disc of the sun
That rises against the red horizon.
I am the warm alkaline soil of the lake basin.
My worn body’s heat rises in the midday sizzle.
I am the frying pan into which we have fallen.
I am the swaying temple chiming in the wind.
I am the lost souls drifting in the air
Hoping for a prayer to save them.
I am the moon looking down on the cold sand
Where the revelers roam.
My shadows span far and wide.
My body is dusty and old.
I am the orange earth that rises stark in the sunset sun.
I am the silhouette cast against the half-light.
I am the swooping ravens that fly low on the valley
Before the mountains beyond.
I am the land where a cry of rejoice is hailed to the sky
To announce that another day has surrendered to the coolness
Of the jet-black night.
I am the lilac and majestic mountains that embrace
The white desert within.
I am the starry night sky that chills the earth
Until a new sun rises.
I am the dancing constellations.
In my movements I repeat the tales of old.
I am the dance of the heavenly creatures
Until once again the chariot rises over the horizon
And devours the night.
blue, lined by wires
the satellite stars in my brain
circumnavigating my soul
I watch for the light in the tunnel
the two eyes of the train approaching
people melting in throngs
of colors and past memories
the streets strewn with names
codes, sounds and allegories
of times gone by
to walk on the abyss of my hopes
wondering how far the swing will go
the museum of natural history is dark
the halls reminiscent of childhood
I long to share my world with you
to blend my love with yours
to graft your skin on my heart
your breath on my face
your eyes in mine
the laughter and the childlike mirth
to capture it for one moment
of pure bliss
holding the key to my heart
light and heavy in one instant
the door seldom opens
and when it does
golden light pours out
but when it is shut
it is forever
the open window frames the street beyond
children running in the playground
screaming on the city summer pavement
the asphalt exudes heat
the hydrant leaking water
to the sundrenched sidewalk
screams reach the world of my dreams
swirls of thoughts pouring over the rhythm of my heart
where land reaches sea
in the sterile hospital room
your lost drugged eyes
searching me for answers
if I could time lapse
press the rewind button
falling two weeks back…
you are wrecked in flight
a crack landing
on the asphalt floor
your spine exploded
your feet crunched
the parking lot lights
like heaven halos on new years’
if I could skip into a stride
on the steep rolling hills
of white and sunny San Francisco
my heart in my mouth
my soul in denial
if the ocean or the horizon
weren’t so perfect and blue
me a heartless ghost in it
and the world weren’t
just a seemingly surreal place
(Or is it Ichabod Crane)
The sun leaves traces of sadness on the walls
As it washes my soul of its past
I echo in the abyss of my future
Resonating the sound of your footsteps
If I could see into the sea
I would stare further
Into the depth of its blue
I kick with the joyous bounce of my energy
In concentric swirls of wanting