A knot in the thread

A knot in the thread
Woven tightly around my finger
Your name lost in the gale of wind
Howling in my ears
The crevices of my body
Grains of sand
Mixing
Blue and yellow
A trickle meshing
Green in the hourglass
They tied a knot
As I untangle my hair
Auburn in the sunset

Strands of emotions
Caught between gut and logic
Drifting away in a waning
And waxing coagulation
Of blood cells

The truth gurgles
And spouts its primal baby names
Jealousy, envy abandonment
Oh, big sounding words
Psychology in motion

The rocking horse jolts and struts
Forward and back
Within each others arms
We whisper—
A word in my ear
Soft and tepid in the morning
Like cotton candy at the fair
Pink and gauze-like
And so sugary you worry it’ll hurt
Your stomach

Lumps of undigested matter
Baggage for the homeless
How to give it away in
One clean gesture
Be rid of it

And yet that is an impossible request
To so dispose of this human fiber
Of toil and torture
That also yields such bliss and happiness

Oh but to grope
For the middle ground
In even-keeled, equanimous strides
Poised for the calling
And yet the surface is weighty
The work rewarding

When fingered nimbly
Threads
Silk, cotton, hemp, linen, wool
Raw, even artificial
Knots coming undone
And then sometimes
Braided quietly and peacefully

Anemone

In a puddle I saw my reflection
murky
anemone: a sea star
moist purple-red
with tiny red suction cups
a perfect shape
singing to the rain
embodying cosmic harmony
the magic of the pentagram
its construction arcane

Leonardo’s Man—the penis
and the umbilical cord—two universes
earthly, and cosmic
and in between everything and nothing

you and I beneath the stars
glistening in perfect
geometric wisdom
raying universal patterns
of the unknown
where the heart ceases to beat
and we float through thin air

in a secret dimension
where we are free
to love, and desire
to create, to tear each other apart
to suffer, but also
to watch the smile on a dimpled cheek

gossip on a lazy Sunday morning
blueberry pancakes and green tea
as the cat licks her whiskers
the mark of time beats
another symphony
expressing tangential truths
that sometimes flower
into concrete creations

the darkness dissolves into shafts of light
filtering through soft clouds
dew-drops sparkling against the windowpane
the light in your eyes
holds a secret
it mesmerizes me until dawn

when I awake
I realize I have been dreaming
of a sea anemone
bright star
its tips outstretched in the five directions
seeking the wind and stories of old
told by a timeless voice before you were born

A stairway made of light

Wonder, by Alex Grey

A stairway made of light
stretching in luminous evanescence
connecting dots of stars
into pictograms of the imagination
a perfect geometry
resurrected by mythology
and in unifying oneness
the milkyway high above
galaxies of thought
of misty mornings
and a neverending coastline

Faint Jade

the hum of the heating grafts
a poem on the thin layer
of my mind
a faint jade hue
reflects from the table

the cat bounces and purrs
after pleading for food
now content she looks upon the world
in detached aloofness

the air is moist
my heart tranquil
an emptiness mixed with tiredness
my body full of pleasure in the image that is me
I embrace in loving acceptance

the exuberance of a faraway kiss
the perfume emanating from a peach
my thought lost in a swirl
drifting to the moon
…and on the dark side I find
the rainbow that leads me home

into your arms I spiral inward
into the harmonious glow
of the golden section drawing me
in notes of perfect proportion
reflected in tiny dew-drops
a relationship seen only in the milky-way

our words resound from the stillness
of time
I find myself in a state of wakeful dreaming
when the tide is in I breathe out
as it releases I draw inward

The valleys muted in the mist

Inspired by John Keats

The valleys muted in the mist
Hanging suspended upon my breath
A feathering dawn
Of brightness still
Awaits the opening of bells beyond
And drops of never-ending beauty line
The arc’d neck of wisps of grass

The swaying movement croons us past
The fraying of the treetops high

And when I lie
And face the sky
Its vast blue
Immense its hue

The vortex in the lilies races
Hidden in a million faces
And never would I’ve guessed
That words you swore to me
Of truths untold
Rimmed only the surface of our minds

As wings who flew
Starbird and back
In a second to capture
The essence of sandy scapes
Fabric and light
Of faces hidden in the night

Knocking on the wall between us
We shared a secret
Keen to those who seek
To climb the precipice
And gazing as far
As the eye can fly
We soar through the clouds
Tender and sigh

Language


speak my name
over the air waves
a sudden rainbow
arcobaleno dipinto
a verse in time
una favola
a bedtime story

I came into the world
hearing sounds from different tongues
meaning attached and words unknown
repeating—discovering
I forged my own shell
hard and soft
geometric and uneven

sometimes irreverent
wading through phonics
turning tunes into imaginary dialects
I jumbled the stories you told me
and painted my world yellow with nicknames
flying elephants
pink flamingoes
green Iguanas

“Perché il Black Cat è andato via?”
I would tire you endlessly with
my two-year-old questions with no answers
“Why did the Black Cat go away?”

Why is the sky blue?
Why am I your daughter?
Why did I pick you?
Why am I lonely?

Crocheting a rope
from a magic toy mushroom
Funghetto magico
I would sit for hours
staring at the chickens
listening to their cackles

I watched the sun rays streaming into my room
they made beautiful streaks on the ceiling
what is the word: soffitto

Sounds in multiple languages
sifting through my mind
in time meaning comes into focus
an ever-increasing discovery
of self
of thought

The endless possibilities
an inside world that can express what you fish for
terse and dry
intense and focused
widespread and colorful
emotional and dramatic

Once I closed the doors behind me
I found I was inside the world of words
Parole parole parole

symbols—sounds—metaphors
onomatopoeia

endless creation

Ode to a ring

round you wrap in circular form
in sparkling perfection
with no beginning or end
I sing to you from the beginning of time
sun metal forged by the dwarves

out of one motion
two leaves brushing by each other
made of the same matter
whispering to each other
a caress
a gentle kiss
the air gliding in
through a slender inlet

two lives each holding the other
gently colliding
two leaves entwined in one mold
out of one gesture a path drawn
a stream trickling

limpid and clear
through the forests
in the early morning mist

you wake and wander to the source
searching for life
drinking in its essence

you take in your surrounding
the beauty of the orange sky
saying yes to the world
you dive in delight in the bright water
drinking in bubbles
seeing the world upside down

tracing your footsteps in the sand
the outline a remote memory of a distant civilization

ancient symbol of unity
you swept me with your wings
to you a promise was made
on a sunny day
from our hearts a mould forged
to be the visible outline on our fingers
holding us together when the wind blows
reminding us to smile when the day is over

in your presence we shine
noble metal
ancient wisdom
shining star

My Name

I searched and found that I have a name of kings.  In an ancient language it means gift.  It was chosen because in my father’s mind it was associated with outlaw.  My parents were smitten by the rebellion and freedom-searching of a generation that wore flowers in their hair.

Along with my first name—a short name with lots of sound, a boy’s name in a girl’s body—came my second, or middle name.  This was a cool sip of water that had Gaelic origins and whispered and sighed, saying yes to unity and divine power.  It welcomed all the gods and spoke of its feminine gentleness.

Together, I was one.  Clad in both my costumes I became whole.  I contained the sun and the moon.  The male and the female.  I had strength, frailty and awareness.  I was the giver and the taker.  The fountain of life from whose source clear water sprung for others to drink.  The one who also drew in and absorbed, and perhaps often, redistributed in one form or another.  Sometimes form became ethereal, and in its diaphanous shimmering it sang into the moonlight evoking an echo from a distant land that resonated over time.  Who are you?  Speak my language…

Growing up I always wanted to be a boy, and yet have come to find myself in my woman’s body and mind.  A revelation in happening, I became who I was meant to be. I have walked on many paths and am now finding the road that leads home.  In its authentic moment of genesis my destiny was chosen and prescribed.  My identity was written in my name—short sounding and sliding in its simmering emphasis.

Followed it was by a long whispering and secret sigh.  This word was humble and yet stood apart defining the identity of that which came before it.  It made me a woman in my boy’s garb.  Somehow it was my true calling and, if I could, I would have chosen it as mine—as a way to make myself known to the world around me.  Not as a boy, a bandit, but as one who spoke truthfully, who in her wholeness contained wholesomeness.  Who could describe the rainbow in its evanescence and sit by the side of the river contemplating the passing water and its shore.  In that relationship—of shore and ocean—I found devotion and also my true love whose name speaks of salvation.

It was later when I discovered in the gift of my name a most profound essence that had meaning beyond words.  It signified that I was the bridge between opposite shores.  I could speak both languages and make hands shake.  Peace was in the making.  I contained the power of the gift and was able to receive it.

At the top of the stairwell

At the top of the stairwell
I rise to find the blue sky
An ancient symbol dangling in the wind
Its chime resonating deep within me

In the morning wetness I find peace
In the crispness meditating on faith
I cling to your trust
Where the thread of my mind is worn bare
The warmth of love and possibility
Of life a kernel of strength
Somehow lacking

At times dawn brings
Evil tidings
Fear carried on wings of dreams

Lost footsteps down winding stairwells
Leading across dusty paths
Backwards

I see the skyline across the water
Reminding me of the ferry-ride in

You held my hand
And windswept all was there
In one breath
Which meant I am you
And you hold the twinkle
Of moon sapphire
In those child eyes

In them I see the span of time
The laugh of a child
And the wisdom of an old soul

My heart speaks in tongues
In the primordial language of the leaves

Questions arise and fall
And sometimes answers falter

In the midnight light
I catch a glimpse of you
Shining
Your armor is your truth
Your stance in its gentle tautness

Embracing in the loll of our bodies
Morning warmth of rising bread

I can forget everything
And come to life again
Invigorated into recreation
In your hold in my arms